Tempting fate...

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Over the last couple of weeks things have been up and down - and to be honest, mostly up. I didn't want to jinx it so I stayed away from the blog, knowing that the moment I wrote that things were "pretty much ok" it would all come crashing down.

Or maybe I'm getting better at coping? If that is the case then it is true that we can get used to anything.

I have noticed that I am more successful with foods like chicken or veggie nuggets (like Quorn or similar chicken substitutes), mozzarella fingers as long as they are not too melty, very buttery scrambled egg with tomato sauce (no lumps), creamy or tomato-y pasta, Pringles, Doritos and Cheez-its. I'm also good with smoothies, milkshakes and other thick drinks - and on very good days, even a latte as long as it is not too hot.

Nutritionally, this is a disaster: mostly junk food, barely any veggies and the only fruit is whatever I tip into the breakfast smoothie. I tried making a smooth-but-thick roasted vegetable soup (thinking it was sort of the same texture as a smoothie) but that was a big no-no. So I had some Pringles instead which delivered on the need to eat something but not any real nutritional value. 

However, these days I will take calories from wherever I can take them so if it means that some days my entire fuel consists of smoothie, Doritos and chocolate then I will take it and move on. At least I don't feel so weak all the time and have started going for walks again. But I am under no illusion that this is sustainable (although toddlers do seem to survive on similar poor diets so yeah, there's that.)

I've also seen a specialist a couple of times and they've poked my throat and even chucked a small camera down my nose to take a look but so far the good news is that nothing seems abnormal. The bad news is that nothing seems abnormal. Further tests required is becoming their catchphrase.

So while I continue to learn to live with being unable to swallow like most other people do, I think I've slowly learned how to live with this challenge while at the same time enjoying a period of things being "pretty much ok". 

Now that I wrote it, I'm sure I've jinxed it and tomorrow will be another awful day!

Location: Milton Keynes, UK

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