Coping and frustration

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It's amazing how many things seem to pivot around food. I've mentioned some before but it seems that every day I discover something new... truly a case of "you don't know what you've got until it's gone."

For a start, you know those days when you are tired, perhaps from a poor night's sleep and having to work the next day? Typically on those days, I would definitely have a few coffees and then something like eggs for breakfast. Then I'd try to stay awake by snacking and grazing all day. 

These days, as you know by now, these are not options available to me right now so pulling through on a tiring day is much, much harder. I hadn't realised just how much I would depend on food and especially drinks to get me through the tiredness. Without these strategies, it was very, very hard to get through a long Monday after a not-so-great night. 

Another surprising food situation I've recently experienced is visiting a Disney park - the snacks and treats are so much a part of the adventure! Missing out on this feels like missing out on a big part of the Disney experience and at times I was so upset at having to miss out I felt like crying with frustration. I realise that this is one of the more minor irritations I'll experience (as I have no further plans for Disney parks in the near future) but whenever I recall the memories, I'm afraid I'll keep remembering the snacks I DIDN'T have, rather than the lovely moments I DID. 

These two situations have in common the fact that they are ones I hadn't quite appreciated just how important food was, but also how frustrating that felt. In both cases the fact that I wasn't able to eat or drink was frustrating and at times took over the moment. At other times, I probably wouldn't even have really noticed the fact that the food and/or drink was enhancing and helping with the experience. 

The latest from the doctor is that, unsurprisingly, further tests are required. I keep getting reassurance from medical consultants that this is probably just an annoyance but of course, one that does keep getting in the way with daily life. While it is good to know that this doesn't seem to be an indicator of something more serious, it is also continually frustrating to not get an answer and have to wait and wait and wait, while all the time I can't get any real advice on what to do while I continue to wait.

I'm working very hard to stick to the positive focus, but on some days this can be very difficult. I just want to wave a magic wand and have things go back to normal so that I can sit and enjoy a coffee and cake just like everyone else.

Location: Milton Keynes, UK

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