Tuesday, 27 January 2009

What keeps me awake at night

It’s true what they say – ignorance is bliss.

I am about 4 days away from going into hospital to have a baby and I’m worried, in some cases even terrified. So much so that I’m struggling to clear my mind enough to sleep (or is that just another one of those pregnancy symptoms that make women’s lives so much nicer?) and I sometimes find myself over-worrying which is so unlike me.

While I am looking forward to losing some of this weight I’ve been carrying in my front for a few months now and look forward to not feeling awkward, clumsy and round, I am not so sure about the bit that comes after. You know, the whole recovery from surgery, the pain and lack of comfort and of course the whole life-with-newborn part.

Last time, with my first, I of course didn’t know any of this and throughout my pregnancy and subsequent periods I kept waiting for things to get better. It was a long time before they did but I was hopeful every day that it would happen. Now I know better and that little bit of hope is gone. So I have to get through this on reality alone which is a sobering thought.

It’s not all bad though – the experience has given me some confidence which I suppose can go some way towards replacing hope. At least this time I know what to expect and plan accordingly, and any improvement on last time is bound to be good news! This time at least I know how to change a diaper, make formula and pick up an infant: all things I had no idea how to do the last time.

So maybe this time will be better and I need to be more optimistic. I’ll check back in a few weeks and I’ll confirm whether or not ignorance truly is bliss!

1 comment:

Shazza911 said...

If my experience has anything to say, it's more the pregnancy that's got you losing sleep than the stress of what is to come. I slept terribly the last two months before Sullivan was born!!

You might be a zombie for a bit (I think that's the current working title I'm using), but eventually it will all become routine, or at least that is what I am hoping. And look on the bright side, at least your big boy is in school, so you can nap with the baby. That's one luxury I am wishing I had!!

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