For me, today is a sad day.
Others want to celebrate and that is their choice, but I find it hard to understand just exactly what it is that they are celebrating. I have tried to reach out, to see things from their side, to forget what I know and perhaps learn something new.
I have clearly failed as I still think Brexit is a tragedy.
But what do I know? I'm not British, I'm not even European. I've never wanted to be either of those things so Brexit doesn't change who I think I am. However, I have also lived almost half my life as an immigrant, an exotic outsider that sometimes blends in so well that others forget I wasn't actually born in the UK. I believe that it gives me a valid point of view on these sort of things.
I remember way back when I learned of the European Union (before I had ever been to Europe, let alone live here) and I thought that was brilliant. Here were a bunch of separate countries that believed that they were stronger if they stood together, even while their cultures and sovereignties remained separate. The idea of border-free travel and the right to settle wherever one wanted was just amazing. I felt that it would be the first step to a unified world.
Many years later, my story led me to become a resident of the UK and a part of that fantastic ideal that was the EU. I experienced what it was like to take a train in one country and enter another, with the barest of immigration red tape. What it was like to be able to find products from all over the EU in local supermarkets and I could hear the different voices from people that came to the UK to settle from so many brilliant places. Large cities like London at times felt like they were the capital of the world, with so many people speaking so many different languages and coming from so many different places. I liked that very much.
Then the referendum came and the following morning, the news that I never thought I'd hear: people had voted to leave the EU. What?! Why?! As a resident alien, I didn't get the opportunity to vote so I trusted that people would do the right thing. I was a big believer in a democracy so the news the next morning felt like a betrayal. Personally, I also felt like this was a vote against foreigners, against foreignness and against anything and anyone that were not British (whatever that meant to them).
It was a weird few days and once the shock wore off and life continued I was suddenly more aware of the rising divisiveness, the sudden nationalism and the feeling that things would never be the same again. This has continued to exacerbate and lead to some pretty infuriating actions that I am sure you are aware of.
For years now we've been watching this shitshow that is Brexit, with all its ups and downs (mainly downs) and while I'm tired of the whole thing, I must admit that even to the last moment I thought it was all going to go away and things would remain as they are. I thought that after all this time and all the new information that is now available on what does "leave" actually mean, that everyone would reconsider and we'd all go back to being friends. Clearly, I watch a lot of Disney movies because I was waiting for the fairytale ending.
So today it all suddenly (to me) seems inevitable. It's happening and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. It's like watching a car slowly rolling down a hill into a ditch and everyone just stands around and celebrates the impending car crash. I am not able to join in their excitement but I alone can't stop the accident so I stand by, horrified and unable to move.
Because I'm shallow, I generally express myself best through my clothes and what I'm wearing. If you're observant you can usually work out my mood, based on how I look. When I was choosing what to wear today, I really didn't know: the obvious choice was black, which I never really wear, but that felt too sombre, too depressing. After some thought, I decided to wear blue and yellow with stars, in honor of the EU flag. I am hopeful that someday our children will forgive us and learn from our mistakes.
Others want to celebrate and that is their choice, but I find it hard to understand just exactly what it is that they are celebrating. I have tried to reach out, to see things from their side, to forget what I know and perhaps learn something new.I have clearly failed as I still think Brexit is a tragedy.
But what do I know? I'm not British, I'm not even European. I've never wanted to be either of those things so Brexit doesn't change who I think I am. However, I have also lived almost half my life as an immigrant, an exotic outsider that sometimes blends in so well that others forget I wasn't actually born in the UK. I believe that it gives me a valid point of view on these sort of things.
I remember way back when I learned of the European Union (before I had ever been to Europe, let alone live here) and I thought that was brilliant. Here were a bunch of separate countries that believed that they were stronger if they stood together, even while their cultures and sovereignties remained separate. The idea of border-free travel and the right to settle wherever one wanted was just amazing. I felt that it would be the first step to a unified world.
Many years later, my story led me to become a resident of the UK and a part of that fantastic ideal that was the EU. I experienced what it was like to take a train in one country and enter another, with the barest of immigration red tape. What it was like to be able to find products from all over the EU in local supermarkets and I could hear the different voices from people that came to the UK to settle from so many brilliant places. Large cities like London at times felt like they were the capital of the world, with so many people speaking so many different languages and coming from so many different places. I liked that very much.
Then the referendum came and the following morning, the news that I never thought I'd hear: people had voted to leave the EU. What?! Why?! As a resident alien, I didn't get the opportunity to vote so I trusted that people would do the right thing. I was a big believer in a democracy so the news the next morning felt like a betrayal. Personally, I also felt like this was a vote against foreigners, against foreignness and against anything and anyone that were not British (whatever that meant to them).
It was a weird few days and once the shock wore off and life continued I was suddenly more aware of the rising divisiveness, the sudden nationalism and the feeling that things would never be the same again. This has continued to exacerbate and lead to some pretty infuriating actions that I am sure you are aware of.
For years now we've been watching this shitshow that is Brexit, with all its ups and downs (mainly downs) and while I'm tired of the whole thing, I must admit that even to the last moment I thought it was all going to go away and things would remain as they are. I thought that after all this time and all the new information that is now available on what does "leave" actually mean, that everyone would reconsider and we'd all go back to being friends. Clearly, I watch a lot of Disney movies because I was waiting for the fairytale ending.
So today it all suddenly (to me) seems inevitable. It's happening and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. It's like watching a car slowly rolling down a hill into a ditch and everyone just stands around and celebrates the impending car crash. I am not able to join in their excitement but I alone can't stop the accident so I stand by, horrified and unable to move.
Because I'm shallow, I generally express myself best through my clothes and what I'm wearing. If you're observant you can usually work out my mood, based on how I look. When I was choosing what to wear today, I really didn't know: the obvious choice was black, which I never really wear, but that felt too sombre, too depressing. After some thought, I decided to wear blue and yellow with stars, in honor of the EU flag. I am hopeful that someday our children will forgive us and learn from our mistakes.
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