Monday, 23 February 2009

Unwanted advice

You know those reality TV shows where people live for days or weeks at a time, pretending to be living in some historical past? Where they spend time being Victorians or children in a 1950s school or whatever? Well, sometimes I feel that I am in something like that...

Somehow it appears that here in Mexico having a baby means that the mother immediately goes back in time to Victorian times and there are hundreds of things she mustn't do: top of the list is leave the house. Mothers are expected (along with baby) to basically never leave the house for 40 days unless there is some dire emergency. Needless to say, I would go crazy if I did that.

The day I left the hospital we took a quick detour to the local supermarket as there were things we needed. I also felt the need to be outside for a bit after 4 days inside the hospital and it was a nice day and I was feeling pretty good so we went. Didn't think anything of it but of course I have had nothing but negative comments about that.

In the days and weeks that followed I have been out because we've had no choice: we had to organize all the paperwork to request travel documents for my little girl so that we can fly back to the UK as soon as possible. So this meant trips to have photos taken, photocopies made, to register the birth, etc. I wasn't driving on any of these trips and some of them were very local and, again, I was feeling fine so it was actually a nice diversion from the endless tedium of three-hourly feeds.

It is all a source of amusement to me at this point, whenever I'm out and anyone asks me how old the baby is. I tell them and inevitably I get "and you're out already?" I can't see why I should hide inside like someone who shouldn't be seen. In fact, I think I would get a one-way ticket to PND if I did stay at home all the time!

The weather over here has been mostly beautiful every day (it was a little chilly a couple of days and those I didn't go out at all), both baby and I are healthy and doing well and a little trip to the local shopping center for a walk actually makes us both feel better. So why not go out? The baby is wrapped up warm, is comfortable and actually seems to sleep better when we've had a relatively busy day.

I have learned to ignore all these reactions and to try and ignore all the other bits of useless advice I've been getting (including such gems as don't walk barefoot around the house because I'll get some illness or even have problems with my legs later in life!) I do know that I don't know everything but some of these pieces of advice don't make sense in any logical way (why would I get cold from walking barefoot? Colds come from bugs, not cold floors) and it is very annoying to keep hearing nonsense. I know people mean well but it doesn't make the comments any less irritating!

I wish I knew how to ignore these comments without hurting people's feelings but also without having to change my lifestyle. I guess this will all improve when I do get back to the UK, where I will be exposed to a whole new set of beliefs and useless advice!

I need to go now as it's time for our morning errands and the sun is shining outside - begging for us to come out and play!

1 comment:

Lynsey said...

We all go throught this. Have you had "are you having anymore" yet?

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